My Krazy Kandies

Supaaaah Lame

I fail my math regents… again.
61. That’s exactly 4 points away from a 65, which is the passing grade. I got exactly 9 more points than the first time I took it. Woo-fuckin’-hoo.
Yes, this is about the time when everyone and their fucking mother tells me “I told you that you should’ve studied.” Ya’ know what? Suck it. I know that it was pretty stupid for me to pass up a better grade on a silver platter, but it’s a bit on the late side to fix that. Besides, Mom already got the honors.
I don’t know why I didn’t see this coming. It’s not like my life is kind enough to me to let me get away with simple pleasures like passing a stupid fucking Math Regents. I may as well give it a rest and get a high school diploma. Oh wait, I can’t do that, because I have (other people’s) EXPECTATIONS to live up to. I can’t possibly let them down. That’d be like killing them with a wooden stake. Then again, killing them with a wooden stake might be a good way to make people let me fail at life peacefully.
So there’s my story. Wonderful way to end the Summer, don’t you think? Sarcasm, sarcasm, sarcasm.

I should seriously consider getting rid of all my categories and just putting all my posts under “Stuff.” It’d make my blog and my life a little less messy. :/

My Summer in a Nutshell

At around this time, you’re probably wondering what’s been going on in the life of KRenee, but you’ve been cut off from her mind almost completely due to a lack of posts to this site. You might even be curious to know what the cause for this month long absence is. Perhaps you don’t really care, and don’t know why your even reading. The minds of  my readers are unimportant to me. Well, that’s a lie; they’re important SOMETIMES.
So, here’s a quick summary of this summer:
August 18th: I take my Regents exam. I don’t know the score, but ever since I took that stupid test, I’ve been sleeping like the dead every night. I’m a bit more confident this time around, mainly because it wasn’t quite as hard, but I still didn’t know half the questions on it. But I have a good feeling, and that’s all that matters.
August 21st: We went to Hershey park, and that was totally awesome. I arranged it with a lil’ help from the rest of the fam, excluding the boys because they’re useless in general. We went on a total of three roller coasters.
The first one we did was The Comet, a wooden coaster which was really fun in my opinion.
We went on The Great Bear, which was also really fun but scared the living crap out of Mom and David. I don’t know about David, but Mom was screaming like omfg on that ride.
We also went on this other coaster that I don’t know the name of. It was for a younger audience, like 8-10 year-olds, but me and mom still liked it. It jerks you around real sudden, but the ride itself isn’t all that big or fast. There was this one part where everyone threw their hands up, so I did too, and then we were approaching this tunnel that looked SUPER SMALL, so everyone lowered their hands again, and I tried to duck down because it looked like it’d take my head off.
Gina and Dad were going to go on this amazing looking Roller coaster called “Fahrenheit”, but the line was like, and hour+ long, so they didn’t go on it.
There was another ride there, “Storm Runner”, that Gina wanted to take me on, but I didn’t really want to go on it so we didn’t. Next time, Gina, I promise!
The last ride we got on was the Ferris Wheel, which was trippy as hell and I can’t say the same for David, who’s afraid of height, but I love Ferris wheels now. After that, me and Gina were going to go to the Great Bear while mom did some other stuff. On the way, we stopped so that I could get super splashed by this incredible looking ride called “Tidal Wave”. It was amazing, and I think I elbowed some kid in the head. Sorry, kid! Anyway, after that me and Gina continued on our way(PS, that park is huge and it gave me HORRID leg cramps).
We got to the Great Bear, but the line was and hour and ten minutes long, so we said “screw it” and left. Gina was fairly disappointed, but like I said, there will deff be a next time.
August 23rd: Gina went back to college, much to my dismay. The only plus when Gina leaves it a sudden surplus of room. Mom and I have officially agreed that Gina needs lots of space.
That night, Natalie came over after me and Mom got back from dropping off Gina. After nagging her dad for a good twenty minutes, we got money to get Boston Milkshakes from Tasty Treat. He didn’t want to drive, so we walked. They were closed. We said “Damnit” and came back to my house, were Nat spent the night.
August 24th: at 9 AM, me and Natalie walked back to Tasty Treat, but they still weren’t open. We sat on benches beside the building for over an hour waiting for them, but they never opened. Plus, they don’t have their house posted on the building, so we didn’t know when we’d be able to go back. Nevertheless, we stopped by S&S Auto, and asked Steve if we could buy breakfast with the $20 he’d given us. He said yes, so we went to Treats and Eats and bought breakfast, while was super yummy. Nat also got ice cream. Then, we went to our separate home. I got in bed at 11:18 AM and slept until about 4:30 PM.
And that’s what happened since my last post.

Dear Anyone Who Can’t Handre It

If I were so inclined, I would be apologizing for being stupid, and for not being able to stop myself, and all of that other crap that you seem to think about me. But, since I’m not so inclined, I won’t apologize. There are a lot of things about Kimmie, and if you can’t handle any one of them, then maybe you and I shouldn’t be in any kind of relationship.

It seems that, as I’m getting older, more people are expecting things of me. It’s stressful when someone asks you “what wrong?” and you absolutely cannot answer them, because you absolutely don’t know. Very stressful indeed, but it seems that everyone and their mother expects me to know what’s wrong even when it’s obvious that I don’t. I mean, think about it; if I knew what was wrong, wouldn’t I tell you? Well, maybe I wouldn’t tell you, but I would at least try to do something about it on my own, right? After all, I am 15 years old and have a mind of my own at this point. I know it wasn’t quite so obvious a couple of years ago, but me and my mind have been getting to know each other slowly. And when I say slowly, I really mean slowly.

Getting to know the mind of a mood disorder is hard. I’ve been hanging around her for all of my 15 years, and I still know very little. She’s secretive, and quiet, and doesn’t like to talk, so getting her to open up is proving to be the hardest thing I’ll ever do in all my life.

Now, you might be wondering what the point of this rambling is, but I’m not going to tell you yet. Patience is a virtue, and while I seem to be the only person who can apply patience to myself at a given moment in time, I will have to ask that you try to apply this same kind of self-control. At least try to refrain from hitting the little red ‘x’ on the tab.

I have a mood disorder. I’m pretty sure it’s Cyclothymia, but I don’t have an official diagnosis, so I’m labeled by the mental health professionals as an “Undiagnosed Mood Disorder.” It actually wouldn’t surprise me all that much if I had a Histrionic personality disorder, too. I mean, Tempestuous sounds like me, doesn’t it? Total nymphomaniac, yea, I fit the title.

But that’s off topic, isn’t it? I have a mood disorder, undiagnosed, unknown, untreated really, and apparently “uncontrollable.” But we all know that the fact that I “can’t control myself” is a load of crap, right? Especially that whole “you’re addicted to hurting yourself”. That’s utter bullshit, and I think everyone reading this knows that very well.

I don’t really care what you think the reason behind my self-injurious behavior is, but it’s definitely not an addiction. I have thought about it off and on for all the months since January, and every time I decided “Nah, I don’t wanna.”

Anyway, I guess this post is long enough by now, right? I’ll get straight to the point from here on out.

If you can’t handle my self-injurious behavior, my depression, my ADHD, my mood disorder, my emotional instability, and the fact that all of these come together to make KIMMIE 1.5, then go away and don’t talk to me anymore.

And if this post pissed you off, then maybe we really shouldn’t hang out/talk/be a part of each other any more. I’m getting to be sick and tired of having to be in a good mood to have friends. It’s rather miserable when your friends will only be your friends when you’re happy with the world. It’s tiring after a while, especially when they get pissed off at me for having issues with things like self-esteem and whatever the fuck else is wrong with me. Yes, I’m talking about you, Princess.

There’s only one more thing for me to say: don’t stick up for yourself in the comments, because I know better than to listen to the one who says they didn’t do it.

THE SURVEY OF DOOM AND DESTRUCTION

Orders are orders, everybody! If you read this post, you are required to fill out the survey here! I will explain it right now.
So, I’m a very easily bored person. You all know this very well, I’m sure. This survey is to “Make an Original Character”. Ricky and Gina already have one of these made, so I guess they don’t have to do this.
Here is how this works; you fill this survey out and either email me what you have, or leave it in the comments. Its up to you. And now for the rules!
You HAVE to fill out ALL of the spaces. This is absolutely necessary if you want your OC(Original Character) to be the way you want them to be. I know that names are hard, so if you REALLY can’t think of one, leave a word that means something to you(Night, love, caring, music) in the place of the name, and I will come up with something for you. You don’t even have to like it.
DETAILS are IMPORTANT! Try to avoid just typing something like “Blue”. There are a lot of different kinds of blues in the world, so I won’t know which to use. If you want a dullish, light blue, WRITE THAT DOWN! I probably don’t need to be telling you people this, but I know a lot of idiots.
One more time; I want EVERYONE to fill this out, to keep me occupied for a little while.
One more thing: you have the option of filling out this survey TWICE; once for you, and once for a lover, if you so desire.
Okay, now for the actual survey:
…
Your Original Character’s Name:

Gender:

Eye color:
Eye type(Wide, narrow, regularish):

Hair color:
Hair type(spikey, straight, wavy):

Skin tone:

Race, if applicable(elf, neko, inu*):

Personality traits?(Shy, angry, hyper*):

Are there any other details you would like to add?(tattoos, scars, ect):

…

*[1] Inu is a Dog person. Neko is a cat person. Kitsune is a fox person, and you would just write “wolf girl/boy” for a wolf person. Just for the record.

*[2] This is to help me find a good base that will match your character.

PS, I am hating on Wordpress right about now. It’s being a superbitch.

Well, Wasn’t That Fun

No, it wasn’t fun at all.

Continue reading Well, Wasn’t That Fun…