Ex Nihilo

Beloved Sister of Mine

Even as I watch, I can feel the tingling, bubbling sensation in my heart. My head feels light, I could fly. She is smiling at me, thanking me for the drink. A strawberry smoothie; her favorite.
I wave off her thanks, telling her that ‘it’s nothing’, and head upstairs to my room.
Dear Diary, I write in my head, thinking over the entry before I even have the book out, I couldn’t tell you how much I love her. She is always there for me; she has stolen my heart without even asking! I, however, do not mind in the least. If I wanted to give away my love, she would be the one I would want to give it to.  She is my most precious person.
I am writing now, wondering if I could imitate her pretty handwriting, her lovely signature. I try. I fail.
I don’t really mind; if I and she were the same, I would not love her, because I would be able to see all of our flaws.
She is self-conscious, she doesn’t like herself, she degrades the perfection that is herself. I wish she would stop; I don’t see these imperfections, these tiny flaws that she hates with a passion, and I do not understand why they bother her so much. Why can she not just see what is HER? Why can’t she just see herself for who she is? I love her so much, but nothing I say can express to her what I feel when she is angry with herself.
It’s painful to see someone so perfect see themselves as something so ugly. It is miserable, for both of us. I wish that I could show her the beauty of HER. I wish I could prove to her that she is not ugly, but the purest, more beautiful thing this Earth will ever see.
My sister, why must you hate yourself so?
Because, dearest younger, if I loved all in the world, how could I be called human?
But why, my love, must you choose yourself to be the one that you despise? Why can’t it be someone else? Someone more deserving of such loathing as you bestow upon yourself? Why, isn’t there someone else in this world that you could hate? There must be! I will find someone for you to direct your hatred towards… just please don’t be this way to yourself.
It pains me so to see such a lovely creature burdened and sullied by mere feelings of consciousness. To see her breaking herself down to the barest of herself, just to find the flaws.
Beloved sister of mine, how I love you so. I wish that we could be together forever… Nothing in this world could amount to the feeling I have towards you. I love you, I hate you, I feel everything about you. I wish that we could be together, but alas, we must be apart.
Dearest Regina,
I love you. How I wish that I could show you how perfect you are.

It’s DONE!

You might remember Butterfly of the Abyss… I changed the title, first of all; It is now known as ‘To Possess the Evening’. I finished it last night and I’m happy with myself. Exactly ten days to complete it. I’m brought of myself, if I must say so myself. I just said myself twice. >.<

Anywho, Gina is coming home this Friday. yay.

Kimmie has Creative

So, a few days ago, I had these sudden lovey-dovey poem like things come to mind, and I think that they’re really cute. So, I decided it would be pretty cool to share them with you folks so I can get some feedback. I love the, personally, and I hope you do to.

Lets fall in the snow and laugh at the cold, pretending it’ll never end. We can play in the leaves and never forget. We’ll plant some flowers and watch them grow. Together, we can run through the summer rain, and jump in the puddles and laugh. Lets pretend this will never end, because there’s still time for one more kiss.

That’s the first one.

Lets fly higher than the sky, lets laugh like it never happened. Lets dance until the sun rises and play like we’re children. It doesn’t matter anymore because you’re all I ever needed, and you’re all I ever wanted. I’ll always be here for you, and you better be there for me. We’ll dance in the rain, play in the snow, and run through the leaves of autumn. We’ll swim through the rights and wrongs and laugh through the good and bad. Nothing can slow us down, ’cause baby, we’re in love.

~~~ Weeee ~~~

They’re alot alike, I know, but they’re still really good, right? I’m proud of myself for spewing forth such lovely works. On that note, I suppose I should tell you about what happened that I found out about today in school.

David Gross, my boyfriend, is suspended. He beat up a kid named Billy Caiati. Do you want to know why?

Billy insulted me. Right to David’s face. He was talking shit about me behind my back and to David. Both of these are stupid moves. You don’t spread rumors about Kimmie. First of all, Kimmie has backup gear,(ahem, Gina, Kasedy, David, and a few others…). Second mistake is that he said all of this to David. Not to a friend. To David. To my boyfriend, David.

So, David flipped shit on Billy. According to him, he grabbed Billy by the throat and punched his ugly face in. I have already told him that he is Gina’s hero and that I love him forever. I don’t know the percentage of guys who stick up for their girlfriends, but I don’t care. David loves me, and personally, I don’t think he had to go that far to prove it. I appreciate it though. Its nice to know that there’s someone outside my family who truly loves me.

The Butterfly

I didn’t make this up. Lau Tao, from Kuroshitsuji, did. he’s dead now. Rest in Peace, Lau Tao.

In the past, Zhuang Zhou dreamed of becoming a butterfly. The Butterfly was so real. He thought he was a butterfly. But he didn’t realize that he was human. He suddenly remembered, he was using the body of a butterfly. Did Zhou dream of being a butterfly? Or did the butterfly dream of being Zhou? There’s a difference between Zhou and a butterfly. That’s what its like to be between two different things.

Butterfly of the Abyss

This is what I plan to use as a book cover for a future book that I want to write, obviously called Butterfly of the Abyss. It has a similar plotline to that of the anime/manga Kuroshitsuji, but it isn’t quite the same in both characters, how the story starts, and what its really about.

“Renatus Vespian is an semi-regular boy from France. He moved to America, because his parents wanted him to get out on his own at an early age, and learn to take care of himself. Or so they said. They wanted to get rid of him, in reality, because they believed him to be a cursed child. He has deep blue hair and yellow eyes; of course they would think that.

After returning to France to find that both his parents are dead and/or missing, leaving him with a large fortune, house, and everything else he really needs to survive, Renatus isn’t searching for the person who took his parent’s lives. Rather, he is searching for his parents themselves. He knows that they can’t possibly be dead; there is a secret that he alone knows, and that alone is proof that they aren’t dead.

After being constantly attacked by demons, vampires, and other beasts of the underworld that claim his soul, flesh, mind, and body are the most wanted things of the underworld, Renatus employs the help and services of Vlad Dracul, now know in this modern day and age as Dracula. In school, Vlad is a protective older brother. At home, he is a butler, working to see that all of his Master’s wishes are fulfilled, and that he has no complaints, while acting as a protective sort of guardian to make sure that Renatus is never hurt by any beasts of the underworld. In the night, he is a blood sucking, immortal vampire that feeds on the blood and souls of the weak.

This story will tell of their adventures, and how their relationships blooms into something that may be more than it seems, or is even less than it seems. Only time will tell.”

—-

On a side note, me an Gina are only a few chapters/several chapters away from finishing The Last Storm of Spring! Hurray!~…

You haven’t read it yet, have you?

Anyway, give me your thoughts on this story idea that I have, and blah blah. If you have any ‘omg, wouldn’t it be interesting if-…’ ideas, then TELL ME! I would LOVE to know! If you have any questions about the book cover, ask, and I’ll tell you, whether it be in person, or through the comment services that I have.

Well, its an hour past my bed time. I’m not going to school tomorrow, but I don’t want to stay up too late. If I do, then chances are I’ll screw my sleep cycle up… again.

Also, I didn’t sleep mmore than 1-2 hours last night. The least I can do is TRY to catch up on that. -.- ::sigh::

And somehow, the world moves on.