Ex Nihilo

Dangerous

I’m in danger of falling in love with David again.

Damn! Too late! Already fell.

I suppose I realized this when he started dating Lauren. I had a feeling of jealousy that pit itself in my stomach, and I suppose its only recently that I’ve actually started flirting interacting with him, and equally recently that I’ve started to want him back.

I’m pathetic.

Well, I can’t help liking someone, so… Too bad he’s not single.

We Are The World

In 1985, Michael Jackson arranged a bunch of artists to sing a song to Africa. I don’t know why, but I assume that something happened and they needed support.

…
This year, in 2010, there was an earthquake in Haiti. Michael was unable to arrange the artists this time around, since he’s long since dead, but in his memory and to help support Haiti, they did the same song again, with artists from me and Gina’s era. my god, its amazing. Especially the rap part.

Beloved Sister of Mine

Even as I watch, I can feel the tingling, bubbling sensation in my heart. My head feels light, I could fly. She is smiling at me, thanking me for the drink. A strawberry smoothie; her favorite.
I wave off her thanks, telling her that ‘it’s nothing’, and head upstairs to my room.
Dear Diary, I write in my head, thinking over the entry before I even have the book out, I couldn’t tell you how much I love her. She is always there for me; she has stolen my heart without even asking! I, however, do not mind in the least. If I wanted to give away my love, she would be the one I would want to give it to.  She is my most precious person.
I am writing now, wondering if I could imitate her pretty handwriting, her lovely signature. I try. I fail.
I don’t really mind; if I and she were the same, I would not love her, because I would be able to see all of our flaws.
She is self-conscious, she doesn’t like herself, she degrades the perfection that is herself. I wish she would stop; I don’t see these imperfections, these tiny flaws that she hates with a passion, and I do not understand why they bother her so much. Why can she not just see what is HER? Why can’t she just see herself for who she is? I love her so much, but nothing I say can express to her what I feel when she is angry with herself.
It’s painful to see someone so perfect see themselves as something so ugly. It is miserable, for both of us. I wish that I could show her the beauty of HER. I wish I could prove to her that she is not ugly, but the purest, more beautiful thing this Earth will ever see.
My sister, why must you hate yourself so?
Because, dearest younger, if I loved all in the world, how could I be called human?
But why, my love, must you choose yourself to be the one that you despise? Why can’t it be someone else? Someone more deserving of such loathing as you bestow upon yourself? Why, isn’t there someone else in this world that you could hate? There must be! I will find someone for you to direct your hatred towards… just please don’t be this way to yourself.
It pains me so to see such a lovely creature burdened and sullied by mere feelings of consciousness. To see her breaking herself down to the barest of herself, just to find the flaws.
Beloved sister of mine, how I love you so. I wish that we could be together forever… Nothing in this world could amount to the feeling I have towards you. I love you, I hate you, I feel everything about you. I wish that we could be together, but alas, we must be apart.
Dearest Regina,
I love you. How I wish that I could show you how perfect you are.

I’ve Got the Bacon Floo!

Not really, I just wanted that to be the title of my post.

My post today is about Mr. Bacon, my Global Studies II teacher. He is win. This is why he is so win.

…

*start of the day*

Me: *Runs up and hugs Mr. Bacon*

Mr. Bacon: That’s all you get today!

*Later that day*

Me: *runs up and hugs Mr. Bacon*

Mr. Bacon: You already got your hug today! XD

*Later still that day*

Me: *runs up and SLAM-Hugs Mr. Bacon*

Mr. Bacon: *cough* you already got two today!

…

As you can see, Mr. Bacon is the purified extract of win.

A SLAM-Hug is when you SLAM yourself into someone and hug them. It usually knocks the wind out of them.

Remember, Realize, Relish in You and Me

David and I are going to get married someday; We have decided mutually on this. He is going to buy us engagement rings, and propose, and everything. He already has the approval of everyone on either side. My parents agree that he is sweet, cute, and amazing. His parents and family agree that I’m sweet, cute, and amazing.  We agree that we couldn’t be more perfect for each other if we tried. I think that he is the perfect guy; he thinks that I am the perfect girl.
I just wanted to remember and relish in the beauty that I have managed to salvage out of my rather miserable life. Even in my darkest hours, I was able to find him, and I was able to get him.
He’s made me happy, something that I could never have achieved. He helped me to accept me for who i was. He was someone from the outside world that had hurt me so much. And he was the one who was able to bring me the most out of my life.
And he dedicated, and he’s faithful. I can see that in him better than I’ve seen in any other guy in my life. He loves me, and I love him. Its simple, but its strong. It’s one of the strongest emotions I’ve ever felt.
Sure, he can’t spell worth a damn, but I don’t mind. Spelling is the least of my worries, and it gives us laughs when I correct him.
Right now, I’m relishing in the happiness that I never thought I deserved. I always thought that I was a horrible person, but I guess David made me see that I wasn’t so bad. He gave me to understand that there wsa nothing I could do to make him abandon me. He let me know that, no matter what kind fo things troubled me, and no matter what kind of things I did, he would never let me take the burden alone.
He told me that he would always be there for me, and I believe him. Even though he is an outsider, even though he’s not a family member, and he’s not someone I’ve grown up with, I trust him more than I trust my own father.

The fact that I was able to open up my heart to him like I did, and the fact that I trust him so much is a big step for me. I don’t know if you understand how much hurt I went through, and how little I would allow myself to trust people. But somehow, he managed to worm his way into my heart, and fill a gap that I hadn’t even realized existed.
He is my everything.

“You have always deserved happiness, and a loving husband. I’m just glad that its me who makes you happy.” - The Reaper, David