My Krazy Kandies

Wordsmith

I learned something recently. About life. About me. About school. I learned all of this through words, though not through talking to myself, as my mother would, and not through talking to a friend, like some might. I spoke to someone I hardly know. He lives in Kentucky. We’ve only spoken face-to-face on a webcam of my friends, and she was there to talk as well. This boy, Derik, is 19, in college. He’s pretty cool for a guy, and I like him a lot. As a friend, maybe a little more.

I spoke with Derik last night. It was a good, fruitful conversation. I learned of several songs that I had never heard of, and I fell in love with a majority of them. It wasn’t until much later in the conversation that we started talking about more interesting topics, though I supposed that the change in language was partially my fault. He asked me why I was upset, because I had posted a status, perhaps, or maybe Devv had told him that I seemed “off”. Not sure, but he asked me what was wrong, and I told him in basic terms. My horrible living situation, my difficulty with school, and my nearly-clinical depression.

Of all the things he could’ve asked, the first thing he wanted to know about was school. He asked me why I was having trouble with it, and I told him that I thought it was the depression. I was having a hard time getting out of bed to go to school, and I had been having that trouble since I returned to my home school.

We talked about it for a little while, and I explained to him that it wasn’t like I didn’t like the people; no, I loved the people (except Mr. Hertzog, he’s an asshole). I had never liked the subjects of math and Social Studies, but I liked the teachers for the most part. So he asked me why it was so hard for me to go somewhere that I enjoyed being.

That was when it hit me, rather like a car into a brick wall. No, it wasn’t the people, or the subjects, or the lunch food.

It was more like the trauma.

You may or may not already know this, but when I was in elementary school, I was a problem child. I was rather dysfunctional in school, whether I was cranky or hyper. I was throwing hissy fits and swearing and screaming at teachers and students alike. I remembered suddenly that, when I had been in the 3rd grade, I had been sat next to a boy I hated; Cody. He picked on me. He didn’t ignore me or try to get me in trouble, so to speak, but he bullied me. He teased me. He made fun of me, and I would tell him to “shut his fucking mouth”, and I would get in trouble, no questions asked. That was when I threw my fits.

Other than that, I was more or less traumatized by those experiences. And I have gone and throw myself back into the place I’ve been cursing and hating my entire life. It’s no wonder I’m having so much trouble functioning in my classrooms. I suppose I still haven’t come to terms with my childhood. It’s probably the same with my father. Until I come to terms with what’s happened between us as a family, I won’t be able to let him go like my mom has.

See? I’m learning.

This is a Really Bad New Years Post

After midnight, partying until tomorrow
Whatever happens tonight, just stay right by my side
So, lets enjoy the celebration!

.

And the year has passed, a little too fast for my tastes. A lot of big things have happened to perhaps slightly change how my life feels on my tongue, but at the same time, very much of nothing has taken place to further sour the flavor.

I don’t remember the beginning of the year, to be perfectly honest. In fact, I hardly remember what took place more towards the end. My ability to recollect my thoughts is as terrible as ever. I think that New Years was the least stressful of the holidays so far; we were able to mostly keep our pleasantness intact. Mostly. I don’t know if that’s a sign for the future, or if that’s just how the fam is…

Whatever. Don’t matter now.

Jesus Christ, this is only the most impossible thing I’ve ever posted. I have no goddamn clue what to put here. Screw it.

Men Suck

I just got finished having a fight with Derek. Well, it wasn’t exactly a fight, but it was damn close. It was more like a relatively civilized quarrel.

It was a Battle of the Sexes, in which I was doing my best, and I mean best impersonation of a female chauvinist sow. Derek was defending the men while I was sullying their image.

I hate men. We know this. I’ve told everyone this many time. I have good reasons for hating men. Very good reasons. No names given, but 95% of the men in my life are total jerks or stuck-up pigs. And then there’s the fact that men are, in general stupid, or at least the 95% of the ones I know are.

I’m not trying to pick a fight, but I’m perfectly willing to fight anyway, if someone wants to.

So, anyway, Derek was telling me exactly what mom’s told me a few times. “Men don’t really know when they’re men, because they don’t have an obvious symbol. Women do. Women bleed.” And he also added his own bit “Men have had everything that they prided themselves in taken away from them.” He used the examples of hunting, fighting, ect. To which I said “I don’t really care. I’m going to get that coffee that I totally forgot about.”

We argued for a bit, he was very defensive because he’s biased against women and think we all suck, generally speaking. I was very much intent on defending my position, however, because all men are assholes and the world would be better off without them. Dad popped into the kitchen to tell me that “it wasn’t worth it”, to which I said, “I’m not fighting with him. Because unlike you, I’m not a spiteful jerk.” Half that sentence was a lie to him under my teeth, though.

My personal opinion, of course, is that men have been dominating society since their fucking creation, and they can do without the power for a few hundred years. It won’t kill them, like they seem the think. If they’d all stop being such pansies and go to fucking school, they wouldn’t have a problem staying up to bat. But no, you men are selfish idiots who seem to think that because of your testosterone, the world should come to you on a silver fucking platter.

Well, sorry, bitches, but that platter is heading for my table, and I’m going to eat it slowly with smirking evilly at you.

I’m sorry Derek, but I cannot feel sympathy for men, for the simple reason that it took us women for-fucking-ever to get out rights in the first fucking place. When America was first formed, women had nothing. We obeyed the orders of our spouses, and that was the end of it. You selfish bastards never gave us anything so we actually worked to get our rights. If you aren’t willing to work to get your stupid “manhood” back, then you don’t fucking deserve it at all.

You filthy pigs deserve a reality check, and if I have to be part of the generation that gives it to you, then so be it. I might even enjoy kicking your asses a little.

My Summer in a Nutshell

At around this time, you’re probably wondering what’s been going on in the life of KRenee, but you’ve been cut off from her mind almost completely due to a lack of posts to this site. You might even be curious to know what the cause for this month long absence is. Perhaps you don’t really care, and don’t know why your even reading. The minds of my readers are unimportant to me. Well, that’s a lie; they’re important SOMETIMES.
So, here’s a quick summary of this summer:
August 18th: I take my Regents exam. I don’t know the score, but ever since I took that stupid test, I’ve been sleeping like the dead every night. I’m a bit more confident this time around, mainly because it wasn’t quite as hard, but I still didn’t know half the questions on it. But I have a good feeling, and that’s all that matters.
August 21st: We went to Hershey park, and that was totally awesome. I arranged it with a lil’ help from the rest of the fam, excluding the boys because they’re useless in general. We went on a total of three roller coasters.
The first one we did was The Comet, a wooden coaster which was really fun in my opinion.
We went on The Great Bear, which was also really fun but scared the living crap out of Mom and David. I don’t know about David, but Mom was screaming like omfg on that ride.
We also went on this other coaster that I don’t know the name of. It was for a younger audience, like 8-10 year-olds, but me and mom still liked it. It jerks you around real sudden, but the ride itself isn’t all that big or fast. There was this one part where everyone threw their hands up, so I did too, and then we were approaching this tunnel that looked SUPER SMALL, so everyone lowered their hands again, and I tried to duck down because it looked like it’d take my head off.
Gina and Dad were going to go on this amazing looking Roller coaster called “Fahrenheit”, but the line was like, and hour+ long, so they didn’t go on it.
There was another ride there, “Storm Runner”, that Gina wanted to take me on, but I didn’t really want to go on it so we didn’t. Next time, Gina, I promise!
The last ride we got on was the Ferris Wheel, which was trippy as hell and I can’t say the same for David, who’s afraid of height, but I love Ferris wheels now. After that, me and Gina were going to go to the Great Bear while mom did some other stuff. On the way, we stopped so that I could get super splashed by this incredible looking ride called “Tidal Wave”. It was amazing, and I think I elbowed some kid in the head. Sorry, kid! Anyway, after that me and Gina continued on our way(PS, that park is huge and it gave me HORRID leg cramps).
We got to the Great Bear, but the line was and hour and ten minutes long, so we said “screw it” and left. Gina was fairly disappointed, but like I said, there will deff be a next time.
August 23rd: Gina went back to college, much to my dismay. The only plus when Gina leaves it a sudden surplus of room. Mom and I have officially agreed that Gina needs lots of space.
That night, Natalie came over after me and Mom got back from dropping off Gina. After nagging her dad for a good twenty minutes, we got money to get Boston Milkshakes from Tasty Treat. He didn’t want to drive, so we walked. They were closed. We said “Damnit” and came back to my house, were Nat spent the night.
August 24th: at 9 AM, me and Natalie walked back to Tasty Treat, but they still weren’t open. We sat on benches beside the building for over an hour waiting for them, but they never opened. Plus, they don’t have their house posted on the building, so we didn’t know when we’d be able to go back. Nevertheless, we stopped by S&S Auto, and asked Steve if we could buy breakfast with the $20 he’d given us. He said yes, so we went to Treats and Eats and bought breakfast, while was super yummy. Nat also got ice cream. Then, we went to our separate home. I got in bed at 11:18 AM and slept until about 4:30 PM.
And that’s what happened since my last post.

THE SURVEY OF DOOM AND DESTRUCTION

Orders are orders, everybody! If you read this post, you are required to fill out the survey here! I will explain it right now.
So, I’m a very easily bored person. You all know this very well, I’m sure. This survey is to “Make an Original Character”. Ricky and Gina already have one of these made, so I guess they don’t have to do this.
Here is how this works; you fill this survey out and either email me what you have, or leave it in the comments. Its up to you. And now for the rules!
You HAVE to fill out ALL of the spaces. This is absolutely necessary if you want your OC(Original Character) to be the way you want them to be. I know that names are hard, so if you REALLY can’t think of one, leave a word that means something to you(Night, love, caring, music) in the place of the name, and I will come up with something for you. You don’t even have to like it.
DETAILS are IMPORTANT! Try to avoid just typing something like “Blue”. There are a lot of different kinds of blues in the world, so I won’t know which to use. If you want a dullish, light blue, WRITE THAT DOWN! I probably don’t need to be telling you people this, but I know a lot of idiots.
One more time; I want EVERYONE to fill this out, to keep me occupied for a little while.
One more thing: you have the option of filling out this survey TWICE; once for you, and once for a lover, if you so desire.
Okay, now for the actual survey:
…
Your Original Character’s Name:

Gender:

Eye color:
Eye type(Wide, narrow, regularish):

Hair color:
Hair type(spikey, straight, wavy):

Skin tone:

Race, if applicable(elf, neko, inu*):

Personality traits?(Shy, angry, hyper*):

Are there any other details you would like to add?(tattoos, scars, ect):

…

*[1] Inu is a Dog person. Neko is a cat person. Kitsune is a fox person, and you would just write “wolf girl/boy” for a wolf person. Just for the record.

*[2] This is to help me find a good base that will match your character.

PS, I am hating on WordPress right about now. It’s being a superbitch.