My Krazy Kandies

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I think I’ll be okay when I can go home.

I hope it’ll be that easy.

You Don’t Care About My Opinion, But…

I fucking hate my family. They don’t understand me at all. It kinda hurts my feelings when they assume that I can just “solve my problems” in the blink of a fucking eye. I mean, seriously? I have a learning disability and a mood disorder. I’ve been mind-raped by everyone I fucking know. My life is a mess of disorder and agony, and I believe everything about myself that I jokingly tell you. Do you understand that? When I say, “I’m such a moron,” I FUCKING MEAN IT. I AM A FUCKING MORON! You know how I know this? Well, you lot are always FUCKING TELLING ME SO.

I’m THE MOST screwed up kid I know, in ways I can’t even tell or describe. How the hell do you expect me to be able to get up every morning with a big fucking smile on my face and say, “Gee, I’m gonna have a great day today,” When I can barely get myself to open my FUCKING EYES.

Every time I start basically screaming at the top of my lungs for some help in my figurative language, I get called a whiny bitch and told that I should stop moaning and maybe do something about it. What the fuck do I do? I don’t know what there is to be done! I don’t know why I’m depressed, why I can’t get myself to stop being depressed… I can’t even always tell you why I haven’t fucking killed myself yet!

It’s clear to me that nobody gets this, but you know, it really SUCKS when nobody can understand that it just hurts.

I’m so sick of living. I’m sick of people, and school, and not being able to sleep, and not wanting to eat, and not being able to function… I’m sick of being awake, and I’m sick of sleeping. I’m going to fucking DIE if I keep treating myself like this, but at this stage in the game I so totally don’t give a shit that I can’t even describe it to you.

I’m tired of this whole “living” bullshit..

This is a Really Bad New Years Post

After midnight, partying until tomorrow
Whatever happens tonight, just stay right by my side
So, lets enjoy the celebration!

.

And the year has passed, a little too fast for my tastes. A lot of big things have happened to perhaps slightly change how my life feels on my tongue, but at the same time, very much of nothing has taken place to further sour the flavor.

I don’t remember the beginning of the year, to be perfectly honest. In fact, I hardly remember what took place more towards the end. My ability to recollect my thoughts is as terrible as ever. I think that New Years was the least stressful of the holidays so far; we were able to mostly keep our pleasantness intact. Mostly. I don’t know if that’s a sign for the future, or if that’s just how the fam is…

Whatever. Don’t matter now.

Jesus Christ, this is only the most impossible thing I’ve ever posted. I have no goddamn clue what to put here. Screw it.