My Krazy Kandies

Well, Wasn’t That Fun

May 31, 2010 on 11:41 am | In Awesome, PAIN IN MY NONEXISTENT BALLS, Shit Happening, Stuff | Comments Off

No, it wasn’t fun at all.

So, last night, me, Gina, Brian and a friend of Brian and Gina’s, Joey, went joyriding. Brian was driving. Crazy bastard.
I had already known that something was going to go wrong, somewhere deep in my gut, because Brian was driving the back roads to Oneonta at between 50-70 MPH the whole way. At one point, I remember he got up to 80, maybe 82. I understand that whole teenager thing about driving fast is fun, but I will never EVER drive that fast on a backroad in all my life.

The whole time I was thinking somewhere in the back of my head, “We’re going to spin out, crash head on into someone else…”

And I sure as hell jinxed us.

We had driven to Oneonta and made it there alive, and after turning around in the parking lot at the mall, we were deciding which way to go home. Brian wanted a different back road to drive, so Gina gave him one. Apparently, I think it was something like “Go to Delhi, and then Treadwell, and then hop on some county road and make your way back to Sidney.” Brian and Joey agreed that they could go that way. I was helpless in the back seat. I can’t drive, so how the hell am I supposed to know these routes?

At any rate, Brian continued his assault on the road, and we were heading back home at around 70 mph, give or take 5-10 mph depending on the turns.

So, we were driving up this slight incline, and there are suddenly high beams in our face. Someone was driving towards us on the opposite side of the road, and they didn’t turn down their high beams. So, as a result, we were blinded for just long enough. Before any of us had time to tell Brian “HEY THERE’S A CURVE THAT YOU SHOULD SRSLY SLOW DOWN ON!”, we were upon a junction. The one where 357 goes sort of to the right but mostly straight, and 28 practically turns itself into a knot trying to get away from 357. We hit that curve at 68-70 mph, and the back wheels gave in to inertia and kept going sideways.

At that point, I don’t really remember when I saw; everything was happening so fast and so loudly, my brain couldn’t register it fast enough, so most of it is a total blur. Not to mention, I closed my eyes for a few seconds whenever he hit a particularly hard “bump”. I know what happened, but I don’t remember it. We went over a slight bank, down an incline and across 357 into some conveniently place trees. Or something like that.

All I really remember is feeling my body jerking around with the cars movements, and bracing myself for the most amount of pain I would ever experience. And Gina screaming Brian’s name over and over, which was probably the scariest thing. I’ve never seen Gina lose her cool like that in such a situation. The closest I ever came to that was when she hit that deer on the way to Binghamton. She had shrieked mostly in horror and surprise, but she hadn’t panicked and freaked out like last night.

The impact on the tree was devastating mainly to the car and Brain, but not so much the tree. We hit it at a hard-to-describe-angle. To put it simply, the left corner of the hood of the car completely slammed into the tree, crushing a lot of it into pulp and metal. The smell of twisting hot metal was nauseating, and scary.

And then Gina started to panic again. The first thing she said when we stopped moving was “Brain?!”, probably because she was afraid that he’d died. I’m pretty sure he managed to garble out something like, “Is everyone okay?” but no one really heard him, I don’t think. The next thing I found out was that Gina’s foot was stuck, which scared the crap out of me, mainly because of how she worded it.

“M-my foots stuck!” Brain was trying to move, and free himself, but Gina continued with something along the lines of, “Brain don’t move the seat, my foots stuck!!” She scared me, because I thought she meant “I can’t move my foot, it’s numb/broken.”

Oh, wait, I’m forgetting something. No, the first thing Gina said when we firs timpacted wasn’t “My foots stuck”. It was “Oh God, my leg, my legs gone!”

I don’t know if she remembers saying that, but I sure as hell do. That was why I initially panicked internally. I kept calm, though, thankfully,(don’t really know how I managed THAT, but whatever) and I looked at Brian, who was stirring. Not looking around; stirring, as if he had lost consciousness for a brief second or so. I glanced at Joey, and he seemed to be looking at Brian to see if he was okay.

Then, I looked to Gina. All of this glancing around happened in mere seconds. I didn’t think I was the type to so easily relax and assess when I’m the one in the goddamn accident. Maybe I should become an ER surgeon.

Anyway, Gina had freed most of her leg by that point, and she was in the process of worrying about her foot. I think I recall saying something like, “Gina, what’s wrong with your foot?” to which she hysterically replied, “It’s stuck!”

She managed to wrench her foot free, of course. She later told me that she had been terrified that the car was going to explode and she’d be trapped inside it.

I don’t blame her.

Joey pulled himself out of the car first; Brain followed, despite his half-consciousness and lack of memory. I followed and made sure to check that Gina would be okay. She rejecte dmy assistance completely, but I just wanted to make sure that she could walk. Told her to avoid the huge branch that was right outside our car door, which she did. She was able to walk fine. By the time we got out of the car, Brian was sitting on the trunk, looking like a mess. His arm was bleeding, but it wasn’t arterial; it just looked gross. A bunch of people where there before we’d even gotten out of the car. It started out as a married couple(or so I assumed) and it turned into a freaking mob.

The woman called 911, and Gina went over to check on Brian and make sure he was okay. Apparently, from what I heard, he was extremely groggy and an emotional wreck. He kept apologizing to Gina when she went over to check on him, telling her that he screwed up and stuff. I wasn’t there to hear him, as I had lended Gina my sandal to walk through the dirt and rocks and stuff.

I vaguely remember getting my vitals checked, and I recall the state trooper who stole Gina’s license and has yet to give it back to her. I remember Gina telling the story of how we almost died to 50 million people, because they couldn’t just tell each other, they had to ask us 50 million times with 50 million different people. I remember the ambulance ride. They had to put me in the stretcher, mainly because I was a minor. I felt fine, so I’m still not sure why I was the one getting completely babied.

Mom met us at the hospital, as Gina had used the nice lady-who-called-the-911′s phone to call home. We spent fore er in the ER, getting checked and not checked. I got to clean the nasty smeared blood off my legs, and I also got and x-ray of my sternum and chest, because my sternum was hurting, and the pain was going all the way through to my spine.

In the end, Brian’s okay, I’m okay, Gina’s okay, and Joey’s okay. Everybody lived, and Brian has probably learned a good, nurturing lesson from this experience.

At this point, my chest and back still hurt, and I’ve got this really nasty seat belt bruise on my shoulder, and another on my left hip. And I have a ton of “abrasions’ and “contusions” all over my legs, not to mention the awesome rug burn on my ASS CHEEK + the long cut up my OTHER ASS CHEEK.