Ex Nihilo

Beloved Sister of Mine

Even as I watch, I can feel the tingling, bubbling sensation in my heart. My head feels light, I could fly. She is smiling at me, thanking me for the drink. A strawberry smoothie; her favorite.
I wave off her thanks, telling her that ‘it’s nothing’, and head upstairs to my room.
Dear Diary, I write in my head, thinking over the entry before I even have the book out, I couldn’t tell you how much I love her. She is always there for me; she has stolen my heart without even asking! I, however, do not mind in the least. If I wanted to give away my love, she would be the one I would want to give it to.  She is my most precious person.
I am writing now, wondering if I could imitate her pretty handwriting, her lovely signature. I try. I fail.
I don’t really mind; if I and she were the same, I would not love her, because I would be able to see all of our flaws.
She is self-conscious, she doesn’t like herself, she degrades the perfection that is herself. I wish she would stop; I don’t see these imperfections, these tiny flaws that she hates with a passion, and I do not understand why they bother her so much. Why can she not just see what is HER? Why can’t she just see herself for who she is? I love her so much, but nothing I say can express to her what I feel when she is angry with herself.
It’s painful to see someone so perfect see themselves as something so ugly. It is miserable, for both of us. I wish that I could show her the beauty of HER. I wish I could prove to her that she is not ugly, but the purest, more beautiful thing this Earth will ever see.
My sister, why must you hate yourself so?
Because, dearest younger, if I loved all in the world, how could I be called human?
But why, my love, must you choose yourself to be the one that you despise? Why can’t it be someone else? Someone more deserving of such loathing as you bestow upon yourself? Why, isn’t there someone else in this world that you could hate? There must be! I will find someone for you to direct your hatred towards… just please don’t be this way to yourself.
It pains me so to see such a lovely creature burdened and sullied by mere feelings of consciousness. To see her breaking herself down to the barest of herself, just to find the flaws.
Beloved sister of mine, how I love you so. I wish that we could be together forever… Nothing in this world could amount to the feeling I have towards you. I love you, I hate you, I feel everything about you. I wish that we could be together, but alas, we must be apart.
Dearest Regina,
I love you. How I wish that I could show you how perfect you are.

I’ve Got the Bacon Floo!

Not really, I just wanted that to be the title of my post.

My post today is about Mr. Bacon, my Global Studies II teacher. He is win. This is why he is so win.

…

*start of the day*

Me: *Runs up and hugs Mr. Bacon*

Mr. Bacon: That’s all you get today!

*Later that day*

Me: *runs up and hugs Mr. Bacon*

Mr. Bacon: You already got your hug today! XD

*Later still that day*

Me: *runs up and SLAM-Hugs Mr. Bacon*

Mr. Bacon: *cough* you already got two today!

…

As you can see, Mr. Bacon is the purified extract of win.

A SLAM-Hug is when you SLAM yourself into someone and hug them. It usually knocks the wind out of them.

Something

Millie is dead.

I have a feeling I’m going to have to wait for a long time before I even come to realize exactly what that means.

Remember, Realize, Relish in You and Me

David and I are going to get married someday; We have decided mutually on this. He is going to buy us engagement rings, and propose, and everything. He already has the approval of everyone on either side. My parents agree that he is sweet, cute, and amazing. His parents and family agree that I’m sweet, cute, and amazing.  We agree that we couldn’t be more perfect for each other if we tried. I think that he is the perfect guy; he thinks that I am the perfect girl.
I just wanted to remember and relish in the beauty that I have managed to salvage out of my rather miserable life. Even in my darkest hours, I was able to find him, and I was able to get him.
He’s made me happy, something that I could never have achieved. He helped me to accept me for who i was. He was someone from the outside world that had hurt me so much. And he was the one who was able to bring me the most out of my life.
And he dedicated, and he’s faithful. I can see that in him better than I’ve seen in any other guy in my life. He loves me, and I love him. Its simple, but its strong. It’s one of the strongest emotions I’ve ever felt.
Sure, he can’t spell worth a damn, but I don’t mind. Spelling is the least of my worries, and it gives us laughs when I correct him.
Right now, I’m relishing in the happiness that I never thought I deserved. I always thought that I was a horrible person, but I guess David made me see that I wasn’t so bad. He gave me to understand that there wsa nothing I could do to make him abandon me. He let me know that, no matter what kind fo things troubled me, and no matter what kind of things I did, he would never let me take the burden alone.
He told me that he would always be there for me, and I believe him. Even though he is an outsider, even though he’s not a family member, and he’s not someone I’ve grown up with, I trust him more than I trust my own father.

The fact that I was able to open up my heart to him like I did, and the fact that I trust him so much is a big step for me. I don’t know if you understand how much hurt I went through, and how little I would allow myself to trust people. But somehow, he managed to worm his way into my heart, and fill a gap that I hadn’t even realized existed.
He is my everything.

“You have always deserved happiness, and a loving husband. I’m just glad that its me who makes you happy.” - The Reaper, David

Labyrinth

Oh my God, somebody help me!
It’s 3:14 in the afternoon, and all I can think about it sleep. I walk through the labyrinth, hoping that maybe I’ll be able to find the place where they keep the food. It’s been months, weeks, years, since I’ve been nourished like a human being. Forever since I’ve had contact with the outside world. An eternity since I’ve been alive.
My body is thin and fragile, and my heart is always is always beating faster that normal. It consistently feels like I’m going to have a heart attack. I don’t know why I’m here, or what I did that would make anyone hate me so much, but I’m tired of trying to escape.
At this point, I just wander, hoping that maybe I’ll find a morsel of something to eat, or maybe a rock that I can sharp to perfection for suicide. It’s scary though, because not only am I in a labyrinth, but I can’t talk, and I can’t see very well. The world around me is dark and blurry, and my voice refuses to make a sound. I can’t even cry properly anymore.
I’m tired. I’m really tired, and I don’t know when this nightmare will ever end.
I hear something. A door opening? As I look up, my vision is cleared, and a beautiful angel is floating towards me, extended a hand. I reach up to grasp it, praying that this is the end.
Her chest explodes with a spray of blood, and she screams in agony as she falls to the ground. Within seconds, she is dead. A window opened, and then slammed down on my hands.
I wish they would let me wake up.
Is this even a nightmare?