Ex Nihilo

Karma

December 14, 2008 on 9:07 pm | In Stuff | 1 Comment

Karma – Kamelot

You know, I recently realized… If I keep this up long enough, everyone really wioll hate me! And then I’l get my wish, adn then I’ll be happy, because everyone will hate me, even at home. At this rate, it won’t wrok though… I need to try harder, and eventually my Karma will catch up with me. Of course, if I’m not careful, I’ll end up getting killed or something.

I’m sad. That’s the entire point of this post. I’m sad, very sad. Do you want to know why I’m sad? Well, there are two reason. The first, and most important reason is that mama, dearest mama, is mad at me. The second one, another important one, but not as important, is that mama thinks I’m a bad kid. She’ll probably deny it, and tell me otherwise, but I can tell when I feel a vibe like that. It was strong, and it was furious, and it was sad, and it was directed right at me. I almost cried about nine times while she was straightening my hair. I felt like a bad kid, so that leads me to suspect that she thinks I’m a bad kid.

So yeah, if I try hard enough, I can enough to hate me, even if it’s only for a little while. Like they say; “you can do anything if you put your mind to it.” Well, I’m not putting my mmind to it. It’s turning out that making people angry is very easy. All you have to do is well, be the usual suspect when something is taken. Then everybody hates you.

Apparently, mama had a soda. apparently, someone took  her dearest, lovely, amazingly awesome soda that I don’t recall her having.

And, of course, you guessed it. I’m the suspect, as usual. Why? Because I’m a known thief. I stole a few… a lot of Dad’s sodas, and he bitched about it, and I took three Twist Ups. Righto.

Now, I can understand Dad being mad, but he’s kind… how do you say… GOT A FUCKING STICK SHOVED UP HIS ASS. Ahem. Yes, I believe those are relatively decent choices of words. Basically, he’s bein’ a bitch because I took his precious soda.

Time for Kimmie to bitch you out, dad.

Well, Daddy, dearest Daddy… Well, I know that soda is precious to you. I also know that your teeth are falling out. Did you know that coke, yes, COKE, can DISSOLVE a perfectly healthy tooth in only 74 hours? I bet you didn’t. You spoil yourself more than we can fucking afford I hope you know that. With the amount of cigarettes and soda you always buy, we could feed a family of twenty in Ethiopia. No, fuck Ethiopia. We could feed THIS FAMILY.

But, clearly you don’t care enough to do anything about your disgusting habit number one, or your painfully unhealthy habit number two. Lets see… cigarettes are around seven dollars now right? You and mom smoke a pack a day. that’s fourteen dollars. fourteen times seven is nintey eight. Yes, you spend approximately nintey eight dollars a wekek on cigarettes alone. one every two weeks, you spend about five dollars on soda. that about 201 dollars, if i got the cigarette part right.

Yes, dad. You fucking EAT, SMOKE, AND DRINK EVERY DOLLAR WE MAKE! Why? because you have habits. Unhealthy habits. I’m surprised you aren’t fucking obese with the way you eat, and I’m quite wondrous as to where you’ve been getting the money to pay for all of this.

Okay, I’m done yelling at you. You aren’t going to do SHIT about it, so why the fuck do I even bother with you anymore? I give up, dad. But when we lose the house, your job, andeverything we ever had, I’ll know exactly who to blame it on.

Not just you, but mama too! Hey, that rhymed!

Anyway, back to the point. I took mama’s soda. Or so she says. I’m oging to agree withher, take her word for it, say I did it, throw down my imaginary guilt and say “you caught me, I’m a liar. I have lied.” like Dane Cook would. you know why? Because there is fucking nothing that I can do to convince you that I didn’t do it. So, I’m not even going to bother.

I just want you to know that I’m hurt by the fact that you can’t trust me, and I’m hurt even more by the fact that it’s my fault you can’t trust. I deeply apologize for being A.) stupid, B.) a thief, and C.) alot of other things that I don’t have the time or caring to bother listing.

Basically, I’m sorry for being the worst daughter you were even cursed with.

Have a jolly, holly Christmas.